Query from a potential “greeter”:
Dear BGSU Office of Residence Life,
May I please get some cash from CARES
To sit or stand outside the halls
As kids arrive with their affairs–
Their spirits high on aerosols–
And tell them “Turn around, go home!
We’ve just decided, we’re too dense.”
And thus the BG metronome
Tick-tocks, with little common sense,
Toward fall semester’s recommence-
ment. Hybrid horror… such suspense.