This Is Not Going the Way We Thought (on re-opening; a parody of “My Shot” from “Hamilton”)

This Is Not Going the Way We Thought
This is not goin’ the way we thought
This is not goin’ the way we thought
Hey we were all really hopin’
In the fall we could reopen
But it’s not goin’ the way we thought!

I’ma teacher working at a state college
My colleagues are intelligent and passionate, they drip knowledge
The problem’s our administration simply won’t acknowledge
Our voices begging just to be heard
They flip us the bird, I won’t apolog-
ize as this is life or death, a falcon in a dive
Tryna stay alive, but crashing like a train (or a hard drive)
Most of us professors are a little bit older
Than these students who are shoulder to shoulder, getting bolder
Every party, every get-together
Hot or chilly weather, they don’t give a falcon feather
They’re sick of being tethered
The plan was to ban these gatherings—good luck
Cause damn, these kids would rather not be giving a f—I’ll
Just spell it: C-O-R-O-N-A-V-I-R-U-S dash 19
Infection that spreads so contagiously
While our president and provost send courageously
(And crazy) optimistic emails that enrage us lea-
ding to frustration and inflation of anxiety.
This pandemic is dividing our society
Half the city lives in fear it’s a conspiracy
Belief in science, around here, is close to heresy!
Back in March, we had states of emergencies:
Stayed at home, locked down, threw away the keys
Can we go back to taking Covid seriously?

Cause it’s not goin’ away like we thought
It’s not goin’ away like we thought
And it’s crazy to reopen
When you see the curve is slopin’
And our college town is now a hot spot!

This is not goin’ the way we thought
This is not goin’ the way we thought
Hey we were all really hopin’
In the fall we could reopen
This is not goin’ the way we thought.

I feel depressed a lot:
I dream of life before this damn disease!
The budget cuts, the layoffs, and this hiring freeze!
The football coaches, you say, make WHAT salaries?
I’m stress eating that amount in calories.

Distraught!
You tell a teaching assistant
To teach a class of 30 staying socially distant:
“Open the windows”? There’s none in the room
Instead of sucking aerosols we could be teaching on Zoom

(Don’t want to lose my spot)
Athletes will never be truly free
They’re prisoners to their scholarships, varsity slavery
Do or die
Don’t ask why
Try to win or beat the spread
And shake it off—cause if you’re dead
You lose your playoff slot.

Everyone, lower your voices!
Without a CDC exemption, you got no choices
Without tenure, your situation is fraught
And carefully teaching’s the trick:
If you breathe, you’re gonna get sick!

But, welcome to class!
You’ll be teaching from inside a box of Plexiglas,
It’s gonna save your ass!
I think you’ll probably pass
A Covid test if we only could arrange one—alas,
We haven’t figured out a plan yet for testing en masse…
We hear New York is doing better—you got money for gas?
Our little county hospital can offer you a prayer
Just don’t think about what happens if you need intensive care.

… Oh, am I thinkin’ too loud?
Sometimes I get excited, and forget to mute my sound
I never had a deadly virus before
I hear you’re allowed mask-free and proud
At the gym—cause that’s a healthy crowd!

This is not goin’ the way we thought
This is not goin’ the way we thought
Hey we were all really hopin’
In the fall we could reopen
This is not goin’ the way we thought.

Cause it’s not goin’ away like we thought
It’s not goin’ away like we thought
And it’s crazy to reopen
When you see the curve is slopin’
And our college town is now a hot spot!


Whoa, whoa, whoa
Whoa, whoa, whoa
Shout it to the president
Whoa, whoa, whoa
Say it to the provost
Whoa, whoa, whoa
A-come on (yeah)
Come on, let’s go

Rise up
Tell the students paying fees to wise up
Tell the squirrels in the trees gotta rise up
Tell the Board of Trustees we’re gonna rise up
When are these policies gonna wise up? (Whoa, whoa)
When are these policies gonna wise up? (Whoa)
When are these policies gonna wise up? (Whoa)
When are these policies gonna wise up?
Rise up


I have seen a Covid death in my own family
Is it gonna get me?
Will students stay six feet away me?
If I see them comin’, do I run or do I let them be?
Is it hard to teach without a face to see?
I never thought I’d see my university
Play with our lives with such perversity
We’re writing wills fast and we’re aghast, reaching for a mask
We hope this semester’s not our last, and worst—idi-
Ots, this is not a moment, it’s a pandemic
We all know this apathy and inequity’s systemic
Our faculty union can’t seem to take a stand
We have no tech for hybrid courses we planned
And? When we all return to campus,
Will our immunity to compassion forever stamp us?
Will the certain outbreak kill our students’ grandmas and grampas?
I know that coming back to school is excitin’
But read the research medical experts are citin’
Don’t rush right in.
We need to handle our financial situation
But what price will we pay in grief and devastation?
All summer we’ve been waitin’ for an honest explanation
From our evasive administration.
We will all face casualties and sorrow
If 15,000 students return to town tomorrow!

This is not goin’ the way we thought
This is not goin’ the way we thought
Hey we were all really hopin’
In the fall we could reopen
This is not goin’ the way we thought.

We’ve gotta wise up
Things are not goin’ the way we thought
We’ve gotta wise up
Things are not goin’ the way we thought
We’ve gotta, wise up, wise up
Till we can get a shot
Wise up, wise up
Till we can get a shot
Wise up, till we can get a shot
We need to have a shot, till we have a shot
And it’s not goin’ the way we
Not goin’ the way we thought!