Greetings–Now Please Go Away

Query from a potential “greeter”:

Dear BGSU Office of Residence Life,

May I please get some cash from CARES
To sit or stand outside the halls
As kids arrive with their affairs–
Their spirits high on aerosols–
And tell them “Turn around, go home!
We’ve just decided, we’re too dense.”
And thus the BG metronome
Tick-tocks, with little common sense,
Toward fall semester’s recommence-
ment. Hybrid horror… such suspense.

REFERENCE:
From: BGSU Office of Residence Life and New Student Orientation bgsu@email.bgsu.edu
Reply-To: Marketing and Communications marketing@bgsu.edu
Date: Wednesday, August 12, 2020 at 5:28 PM
Subject: Seeking Move-in Volunteers

Dear [BGSU faculty member],

As we get ready to welcome new students and their families to campus for Move-In Week, we are seeking volunteers to serve as greeters. Volunteer greeters will sit or stand outside each residence hall to meet students and families as they arrive, welcome them to BGSU and answer their questions. You won’t need to move any boxes!

Two-hour shifts are available between 8 a.m. and 6 p.m. on Thursday, Aug. 20, through Tuesday, Aug. 25. There will be a tent at each residence hall in case of inclement weather. No training is necessary, though we ask that you wear at least one piece of BGSU gear and your face covering.

If you are interested and available, please provide your information on the Move-in 2020 Assistance form. You will receive confirmation of your assignment and any necessary preparation materials.